If you would have asked me eight years ago, if I was going to see at least part of Europe, my answer would be Yes! but only in my dreams. Never did it crossed my mind that I was going to have this amazing opportunity to travel, much more to travel with Ralph. So allow me to THANK GOD for such an incredible blessing. Actually, during our second or third day into our traveling, I was reminded of this verse, this promise/caution I got eight years ago before I left the Philippines. When I first read it, my initial thoughts were God will bless me if I don't forget Him. But to my surprise, God had literally fulfilled this promise. As to why God poured these blessings over and beyond, I cannot say for sure. Though this, I very well know, it is certainly NOT for what I have done, did or doing (far from it) and most certainly NOT for who I am. And that dear readers, I believe, is what's called Amazing Grace. When the Lord your God brings you into the land He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you - a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant - then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
Deuteronomy 6:10-12 This journey has been a blessing from beginning to end, from our home and back. Favors were given, our prayers have been answered even to the minute, tiniest details. It was not just about Ralph and I learning lessons on marriage, but God just being sooooo good to us. Lord, I pray that we will never forget you under any circumstances, may it be amiable or dire, in plenty or in need.
With the trains sounding its horn, its wheels churning, we've crossed the borders of 13 countries, landed on 15+ cities in but a month. And it all began in the Paris of the East: Budapest, Hungary.
 Franciscans of Bethany Retreat House What an amazing experience to feel the move and presence of God work in my life during this weekend conference. This experience taught me to be humble, watchful and to be ever praising. What a mighty and gracious God we serve! Like some other ladies, I feel that I'm not quite there yet...BUT I am excited of what God has planned for me! He loved me so much and went out of His way to personally "cloak" me back to His righteousness. For this, I am forever grateful! We've spent the weekend at a local convent / retreat center. Being with the Franciscans of Bethany was just a refreshing change of pace and lifestyle from our mundane thinking. The Franciscans, though we vary in faiths showed so much love, hospitality and had just been in service to us. It's a blessing to know that there are still people out there who is willing to forsake all the things of this world to wholeheartedly follow Jesus. What a challenge for us so-called Christians! How much are we willing to give? How much are we willing to forsake for the cause of Christ? But Thank you Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus for You are at much work then, as much as You are at work now! Here's a short testimony I've written before the conference's 3rd session and I'll just let it speak for itself...
You have restored unto me the cloak of righteousness
Of a still spirit and a sound mind
Of peace that surpasses understanding
Of joy unspeakable
and freedom forevermore!
You said, "The devil's assignment is done!"
And You, who have begun a good work in me will carry it out into completion.
Whatever's thrown at me, I lay before the cross
Whatever's accused of me, I lay before the cross
With Him, with Jesus
I have freedom!
Freedom to praise Him
Freedom to serve Him
Freedom to live for Him
One person’s comment about prayer bothered me the other day. He/she said that Prayer doesn’t work, that the problem sometimes is that people forget that there are prayers unanswered. This statement bothered me because its wrapped with misconceptions and self-gratifying expectations.
First off, Prayer does not translate “Abracadabra.” It is not a magical word we simply say for God to grant our wishes.
Next, Prayer is not a one-way street. It is two way - we speak, God listens. God speaks and we (should) shut up. It is a dynamic communication shared with a living God.
Lastly, Prayer is not always answered the way we want them to be. God is not a vending machine that easily puts out the candy once the money is in. As I had learned early on, God’s answer varies - it can either be Yes, No or Wait.
So it is not that Prayer doesn’t work, it does. We’re just too self-involved to realize it has been answered, especially in ways not prone to our liking.
This facebook app, God Wants You To Know writes,
“God wants you to know… that you have to pass through a dark night of the soul. Everyone does, including you. A time comes when what you have always believed is true melts away underneath you. When you cast in doubt even the most obvious, the most simple. When it seems that dark night is all around, and you are all alone. Take heart, this journey through abyss is the final barrier before your emergence into the heavenly light of a new synthesis of your being. God is waiting for you on the other side.”
I would have to say that this message hits right home. There were countless times when I doubted God, when I became bitter and angry towards Him,
“Why? Why? Why?” I ask.
Numerous times when I’ve rebelled against him, deliberately and consciously disobeyed His words, pounding my fists in bitter resentments and disappointments. In my heart, I felt God failed me, the society failed me, the Christian community failed me, my family and friends failed me, and most of all I felt, I failed me. The dark night, the abyss does not simply hover around but it penetrated deep inside my being. Did I find answers to my legions of questions? No. Will I ever find all the answers I’ve been looking for? Probably not. But God had renewed my mind. I stopped asking and I began trusting. I even have to agree with what one atheist has to say,
“People just use religion and God as crutches!”
How true! Coz I do, and I really don’t mind having God as my crutch to support my brokenness. After all, God had said to “Cast all your burdens upon Him and I will give you rest.”
I am still in the abyss, in the process of surmounting these final barriers, waiting for my own emergence into the heavenly light. It’s tough and it could be lonely some times. But you know what I’ve realized? In spite of all my failures, my shortcomings and my doubts, God is not simply waiting for me on the other side, but He has been holding my hand all throughout.
Sabi ko nga sa tagalog,
“Ako na nga iyong bumibitiw minsan sa Panginoon, pero hindi nya pa rin ako kinayang bitawan,”
which in English translates,
“I have willfully decided to let go of God’s grip at times, but He simply can’t and won’t let my hand slip.”
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